In the years preceding my resignation from a cherished teaching position, I found myself entangled in numerous pros and cons lists. Leaving the classroom was a decision fraught with inner turmoil, a dilemma I grappled with long before the pandemic's onset. Teaching had always been my calling; I reveled in the connections with students, the camaraderie among colleagues, and the joy of growing and learning together. Yet, beneath the surface, the dysfunction of the school system, culture, and environment grew.
The mantra, "Shut the door and do what's best for your students," had long sustained me through bureaucratic frustrations. But eventually, the dysfunction penetrated my classroom walls, impossible to ignore. Micromanagement and pedagogically unsound initiatives eroded morale and disregarded the students' true needs. Despite attempts at diplomacy, voicing these concerns rendered me an outcast. The palpable hostility from administration during the Spring of 2020 marked the breaking point.
"They don't care about us," echoed relentlessly in my mind during that grueling summer break. Dread, anger, sadness, and resentment consumed me. For the first time, I couldn't summon excitement for the new school year. Tears and outrage replaced my usual optimism and silliness. The person I once knew, the one who savored impromptu dance parties and embraced life's adventures, seemed distant.
With a heavy heart, I tendered my resignation that July. Despite pouring my heart into my work, my employer's indifference stung. "We'll miss you, but we'll find a replacement," they remarked casually. It was a confirmation of my fears: my efforts had been in vain. In that moment, I had clarity – I had made the right choice.
Though wrenching, leaving the classroom was the best decision for my family and me. Two weeks later, my husband's embrace and our collective sigh again affirmed my decision to leave. It took nearly a year to heal all of the emotional turmoil I'd been through, but I emerged as a version of myself my children describe as annoyingly happy, confident, and proud.
Best wishes always,
Rachel
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